The word judgement is defined as the ability to make a decision or form an opinion by discerning and evaluating. I got that from the good old Webster's dictionary. We are people make judgments every day but how many of those are accurate? When you make a decision or form an opinion about something do you jump to conclusions or actually discern and evaluate? There have been times when I've just looked at something and judged it. Or I've taken someone else's opinion and formed my own without knowing all the facts or the whole story. We are all guilty of jumping to conclusions or judging someone or something without knowing the whole story. However, what if we knew the whole story? I love a picture I found a while ago of a woman standing in a storm and the words "Don't judge her, you don't know what storms I've asked her to go through" Powerful right?
Think about it......you see a person in the grocery store buying her kids candy and pop.....in the past I've thought wow that's junk she's feeding her kids but now I think maybe it was a treat for something that they earned???? I went to the store last week to stock up on snacks for our weekend at the Kansas Junior Livestock Show. When I was checking out, the woman behind me was very vocal about the reason our kids are obese in America when parents fill them with junk food. Normally I would have just shrugged it off because I mean my cart had some twizzlers, chips, lemonade, cheez-its, oreos, and cookies. I also had apples, grapes, cheese-sticks and granola bars to balance out some of that. But I turned around and told the woman that she formed an opinion without the facts. The facts are my kids were going to be very busy at KJLS this weekend and it would be nice to have some easy to grab snacks for them to eat as well as the fact that my children are far from obese! It wasn't a normal shopping trip for me, it was a special trip to have some snacks to feed my kids and the candy and cookies were to be rewards when they finished showing their animals. I point blank told her not to judge me without knowing the facts and if she was going to judge me to keep it to herself. It was very out of character for me because I don't normally speak up, I would have just fumed about it and kept my opinion to myself. But you see, I've been judged for the past year. I've been gossiped about, I've lost people I thought were my friends because they didn't like my choices. I've been a victim of unfair judgments made by people who don't know my story only what they've heard from other people. I've seen people so afraid of what other people will think if they are seen with me act like I don't exist when they are around those people even though they just spoke to me the week before. I'm sorry I thought I graduated too many years ago to count! Oh and the best ones are the ones who pretended to be my friends just to be able to talk about me to other people. I can't change the way people behave, I can only change the way I respond to it. You see, no one knows the storms I've had to face. They may think they know, they may say oh if that were me I would do this and this but you see you never really know how you would react to something until you are in that situation. Jer 29:11 is my verse. God has my life in the palm of his hand and he knows the plans he has for me. He knows the days of my life and he knows the tests He will put me through. I have the opportunity every day to choose the path that leads to eternal life or choose the wrong path. But no matter what path I choose, God is always there with me and willing to forgive me when I make a mistake. We all have storms to weather in our lives. Maybe your storm is financial, maybe it's the loss of a child, maybe it's the loss of someone close to you, perhaps it's the betrayal of a friend, spouse, family member, child.......we all have storms to weather and our job as Christians is to help each other through those storms. Not to judge because if we look in the mirror we are not perfect. God doesn't expect us to be perfect! That's why he instructed us not to judge and that's why he sent us the ultimate Savior to take on our sins and give us eternal life. The best thing you can do when you want to judge someone is to learn all the facts and try to help that person through the storms of their lives. And if you can't help them through the storm, pray for God to put people in their lives to help them.
If I can help you through the storms in your life, feel free to comment. I would love to pray for you. Hope you all have a blessed day and remember we all have our own crosses to bear and storms to weather.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
What a difference a year makes
Look back at your life a year ago??? Have you learned a lot in the past year? A little? Are you maybe a little lighter/heavier than a year ago? How about your looks, more gray hairs, wrinkles? Maybe you have had a great year......What about those goals you set at the New Year??? Have you reached any of them? Abandoned them all? Made new ones??? Why am I asking all these questions???
I am coming off of probably the hardest year of my life. Harder than losing 2 grandparents within months of each other, harder than suffering a miscarriage, being diagnosed with cervical cancer and being told after treatment for it I would never have children (by the way God proved those doctors wrong). It's been a VERY rough year. Almost a year ago, the small town I live in was rocked by scandal and a member of my family was right in the middle of it. A year ago, I was hurt, bitter, angry, betrayed and I felt completely alone. But one thing I wasn't was broken! I've always been a very strong person. It's true, you can ask anyone! I don't ask for help, I don't back done from a challenge and I am stubborn in what I want. My mom called me strong-willed from birth and my mini-me has those traits as well. I never knew how strong I was until this past year. But in the midst of scandal and betrayal, I had a few verses in my life that helped me through it.
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make straight your path."
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you."
When the scandal erupted, I had few friends to call and check on me or even talk to me. They say in bad times you find out your true friends and it is so true! People I thought were my friends wouldn't even look my way let alone say something as simple as "hi!" My children became outcasts in our town, talked about, gossiped about etc. The one thing that kept coming into my head was "I don't understand.....I didn't do anything wrong, my children didn't do anything wrong???" However, I had to move past that and I had to make some serious decisions regarding my life and my future. Where did I turn for this? My father....and let me tell you it wasn't an easy task either! But my dad I swear seems to have a direct line to God. If I ask him to pray for something, he does and I usually get a response to whatever I'm needing. Now not always the response I was looking for but we all know God doesn't always give us what we want. So I turned to my daddy and I asked him what do I do? How do I handle this? His response was to pray and he would pray for God to speak to me. So of course I did what my dad said and I prayed and one thing has been repeated to me over and over and over this past year........just one simple word stays on my heart.....FORGIVE. Jesus tells us several times in the bible we have to forgive those who've hurt us, those who've wronged us and we have to forgive as he has forgiven. Forgiveness is NOT an easy thing. I struggled for a while with this task I was given. To forgive everyone who hurt me from the ones close to me to the ones who just gossiped about me. I also had to teach my children to forgive. Not to be clear, my 2 younger children have no idea what happened but my 2 older children were exposed to the fall of a man they held dear to them. And if I was going to teach my children how to forgive, I had to lead by example.
This past year has been a blessing as well. I've become a better mother, I've told my children the dangers of trying to grow up to fast, to go with the flow of what other people are doing. I've expressed to them that when they see something going on that they know isn't right, they need to speak up to stop it before it gets out of hand. You see, this whole scandal could have been avoided if months before when people knew what was happening had spoken up before it got out of control. I've also learned not to ask why me??? Why not me??? Obviously there was a reason why God put me in this position. I read several books this past year and the one that got to me the most was "Every Heart Restored" there were 2 points in that book that took the air out of me and made me stop asking why me! First point was this "God may have created your marriage in part for the messy work of helping Him heal your husband's wounds, of assisting your husband in his journey to Christian maturity." Second point "God may have picked you to be the central figure in this work of restoration from the very beginning. How do you know this marriage isn't among God's highest dreams for your life?" Wow, talking about making me stop in my tracks.......I've always maintained that God put my husband in my life for a reason. I've questioned God a few times because being married and trying to raise children with good Christian values is difficult with a man who doesn't not believe in God but doesn't have a relationship with him. I can't tell you how many times in 13 years I've prayed that God would help me reach my husband and have him give his life to Christ. Well, turns out, God did that without my help. God turns a mess into a message and a test into a testimony! I honestly can't sit hear today and wish that the past year hadn't happened because out of this horrible time my biggest prayer has been answered.
I've also learned people can change. When someone who has been walking a life that doesn't have Christ in it and finally accepts Christ the change is breath-taking! Now, it's taken a year to get to where I am today where I feel like I can post this blog. But the only way I've gotten to this point is because I finally listened to that one simple word and I forgave........There's a new song by Matthew West called forgiveness and the lyrics are powerful! Here's some of them:
"It's the hardest thing to give away, and the last thing on your mind today, it always goes to those that don't deserve. It's the opposite of how you feel when the pain they caused is just to real it takes everything you have just to say the word......Forgiveness, Forgiveness.
It flies in the face of all your pride, it moves away the mad inside it's always anger's own worst enemy. Even when the jury and the judge say you gotta right to hold a grudge it's the whisper in your ear saying 'Set it free'....Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unloveable, show me how to reach the unreachable, help me now to do the impossible....Forgiveness
It'll clear the bitterness away, it can even set a prisoner free, there is no end to what it's power can do. So let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace the prisoner that it really frees is you.....
I want to finally set it free, so show me how to see what your mercy sees, help me now to give what you gave to me...Forgiveness."
Powerful words right??? Forgiveness is a powerful thing. I can honestly say I can hold my head high and let go of the things I hear about myself. For the record, I am NOT a weak person......I have come through the hardest year of my life and my faith hasn't been weakened, it's been strengthened. I have learned who my true friends are and I don't feel the need to try to live my life according to how other people think I should. I make my own decisions in life and no one should judge me because they don't walk the path I walk, they haven't weathered the storms I have been in and I am living my life according to what I feel led by God to do. Gossip is gone from my life. Now when someone tells me something, I THINK T-is it true? H-is it helpful? I-is it inspiring N-is it necessary and K-is it kind? I never realized exactly how hurtful gossip was until I was faced with all the absurd stories that flew around about myself and my family......most untrue and I saw how people changed the way they treated me based on what they heard through the grapevine. Funny thing is, the friends that showed up at my lowest time in my life are a few I figured would be there and a few I never would have imagined......I've forgiven all those who hurt me and it's such a powerful feeling to let that go. I pray for those who were involved and I pray for those who hurt me. I will not spend the rest of my life being bitter or angry. I choose to let those feelings go and let the love of God flow through me. I have been blessed with so much that I have decided to dwell on the good in my life and let go of the bad.....Let go and let God.
Hope you all have a blessed day! Until next time, I pray you find peace in your life.
I am coming off of probably the hardest year of my life. Harder than losing 2 grandparents within months of each other, harder than suffering a miscarriage, being diagnosed with cervical cancer and being told after treatment for it I would never have children (by the way God proved those doctors wrong). It's been a VERY rough year. Almost a year ago, the small town I live in was rocked by scandal and a member of my family was right in the middle of it. A year ago, I was hurt, bitter, angry, betrayed and I felt completely alone. But one thing I wasn't was broken! I've always been a very strong person. It's true, you can ask anyone! I don't ask for help, I don't back done from a challenge and I am stubborn in what I want. My mom called me strong-willed from birth and my mini-me has those traits as well. I never knew how strong I was until this past year. But in the midst of scandal and betrayal, I had a few verses in my life that helped me through it.
Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him and he will make straight your path."
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you."
When the scandal erupted, I had few friends to call and check on me or even talk to me. They say in bad times you find out your true friends and it is so true! People I thought were my friends wouldn't even look my way let alone say something as simple as "hi!" My children became outcasts in our town, talked about, gossiped about etc. The one thing that kept coming into my head was "I don't understand.....I didn't do anything wrong, my children didn't do anything wrong???" However, I had to move past that and I had to make some serious decisions regarding my life and my future. Where did I turn for this? My father....and let me tell you it wasn't an easy task either! But my dad I swear seems to have a direct line to God. If I ask him to pray for something, he does and I usually get a response to whatever I'm needing. Now not always the response I was looking for but we all know God doesn't always give us what we want. So I turned to my daddy and I asked him what do I do? How do I handle this? His response was to pray and he would pray for God to speak to me. So of course I did what my dad said and I prayed and one thing has been repeated to me over and over and over this past year........just one simple word stays on my heart.....FORGIVE. Jesus tells us several times in the bible we have to forgive those who've hurt us, those who've wronged us and we have to forgive as he has forgiven. Forgiveness is NOT an easy thing. I struggled for a while with this task I was given. To forgive everyone who hurt me from the ones close to me to the ones who just gossiped about me. I also had to teach my children to forgive. Not to be clear, my 2 younger children have no idea what happened but my 2 older children were exposed to the fall of a man they held dear to them. And if I was going to teach my children how to forgive, I had to lead by example.
This past year has been a blessing as well. I've become a better mother, I've told my children the dangers of trying to grow up to fast, to go with the flow of what other people are doing. I've expressed to them that when they see something going on that they know isn't right, they need to speak up to stop it before it gets out of hand. You see, this whole scandal could have been avoided if months before when people knew what was happening had spoken up before it got out of control. I've also learned not to ask why me??? Why not me??? Obviously there was a reason why God put me in this position. I read several books this past year and the one that got to me the most was "Every Heart Restored" there were 2 points in that book that took the air out of me and made me stop asking why me! First point was this "God may have created your marriage in part for the messy work of helping Him heal your husband's wounds, of assisting your husband in his journey to Christian maturity." Second point "God may have picked you to be the central figure in this work of restoration from the very beginning. How do you know this marriage isn't among God's highest dreams for your life?" Wow, talking about making me stop in my tracks.......I've always maintained that God put my husband in my life for a reason. I've questioned God a few times because being married and trying to raise children with good Christian values is difficult with a man who doesn't not believe in God but doesn't have a relationship with him. I can't tell you how many times in 13 years I've prayed that God would help me reach my husband and have him give his life to Christ. Well, turns out, God did that without my help. God turns a mess into a message and a test into a testimony! I honestly can't sit hear today and wish that the past year hadn't happened because out of this horrible time my biggest prayer has been answered.
I've also learned people can change. When someone who has been walking a life that doesn't have Christ in it and finally accepts Christ the change is breath-taking! Now, it's taken a year to get to where I am today where I feel like I can post this blog. But the only way I've gotten to this point is because I finally listened to that one simple word and I forgave........There's a new song by Matthew West called forgiveness and the lyrics are powerful! Here's some of them:
"It's the hardest thing to give away, and the last thing on your mind today, it always goes to those that don't deserve. It's the opposite of how you feel when the pain they caused is just to real it takes everything you have just to say the word......Forgiveness, Forgiveness.
It flies in the face of all your pride, it moves away the mad inside it's always anger's own worst enemy. Even when the jury and the judge say you gotta right to hold a grudge it's the whisper in your ear saying 'Set it free'....Forgiveness
Show me how to love the unloveable, show me how to reach the unreachable, help me now to do the impossible....Forgiveness
It'll clear the bitterness away, it can even set a prisoner free, there is no end to what it's power can do. So let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace the prisoner that it really frees is you.....
I want to finally set it free, so show me how to see what your mercy sees, help me now to give what you gave to me...Forgiveness."
Powerful words right??? Forgiveness is a powerful thing. I can honestly say I can hold my head high and let go of the things I hear about myself. For the record, I am NOT a weak person......I have come through the hardest year of my life and my faith hasn't been weakened, it's been strengthened. I have learned who my true friends are and I don't feel the need to try to live my life according to how other people think I should. I make my own decisions in life and no one should judge me because they don't walk the path I walk, they haven't weathered the storms I have been in and I am living my life according to what I feel led by God to do. Gossip is gone from my life. Now when someone tells me something, I THINK T-is it true? H-is it helpful? I-is it inspiring N-is it necessary and K-is it kind? I never realized exactly how hurtful gossip was until I was faced with all the absurd stories that flew around about myself and my family......most untrue and I saw how people changed the way they treated me based on what they heard through the grapevine. Funny thing is, the friends that showed up at my lowest time in my life are a few I figured would be there and a few I never would have imagined......I've forgiven all those who hurt me and it's such a powerful feeling to let that go. I pray for those who were involved and I pray for those who hurt me. I will not spend the rest of my life being bitter or angry. I choose to let those feelings go and let the love of God flow through me. I have been blessed with so much that I have decided to dwell on the good in my life and let go of the bad.....Let go and let God.
Hope you all have a blessed day! Until next time, I pray you find peace in your life.
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